Not where I saw myself ten years ago. Then again I never thought I’d follow a boyfriend across the country, have tattoos, live in DC, experience a stint at a psych ward, etc. Life is full of surprises, isn’t it?
When I used to hear the word “rehab”, I immediately pictured individuals going through horrible withdrawals from hard drugs, or straight up alcoholics with grey skin and the shakes. Rehab seemed like a place for losers. People that failed at life and turned to substance abuse to drown out their crippling disappointment and self-hatred. Of course I’d never end up there.
Yet, here I am. 24 years old, educated, no financial problems, no disabilities, not even a damn allergy and with the most amazing support system one could hope for. Going to rehab.
Like many, I am using substance abuse to deal with something. Or escape something?
Escapism is the avoidance of unpleasant, boring, arduous, scary, or banal aspects of daily life. It can also be used as a term to define the actions people take to help relieve persistent feelings of depression or general sadness
The toughest part of rehab won’t be the lack of alcohol. Confronting the root cause of my self-destructive behavior, however… I’m guessing there are some dark corners of my mind that are laden with cobwebs by now. And I’m scared of spiders.
Anyways, I am truly blessed to have this opportunity to better myself. I think many many people struggle with an abnormal relationship with alcohol. I mean, of course! It’s legal, cheap, socially acceptable… Even if one blacks out and acts like a mess, friends will rarely judge because “whatever, he/she was just drunk.” Unfortunately, most don’t have the luxury of taking a break from life for a month to focus solely on recovery.
Alcohol is amazing in many ways. It represents different cultures and traditions. It is, in my opinion, linked to humanity and our need to socialize and connect with others. I mean come on, hangovers are awful yet they don’t deter most from continuing to drink.
But alcohol abuse falls on a wide spectrum. Just because someone isn’t drinking a vodka smoothie for breakfast or blacking out daily doesn’t mean they aren’t struggling. I have no idea what rehab will be like (stay tuned), but based on the conversations I’ve had with employees of various centers, it’s not only the tweakers and the shakers who seek help. It’s also your average, mostly-functional individuals who don’t quite understand how they ended up needing rehab in the first place.
Almost Linear 